I wanted to write yesterday about my great Sunday but when I woke up I was back in a dark place. I was so bummed after being on such a high this weekend to be in such a bad place. I don't know if I'm more afraid of my feelings or what is actually happening. I don't know why I did but in that moment I was crumbling and I decided to pick up my phone and text my friend. I'm not sure why then and why that friend but it was exactly what I needed. She gave me confidence in myself and in the fact that even with where my cancer is, people can and have still beat it. I don't know if people are sick of me saying it but I need to hear often right now that I can do this, even with it having spread, and I will!
It was something about those texts, her words, or her combination of words that I could literally feel myself breathe in strength to take on the day. It wasn't my best day but it was much better than it started out. That made for two, almost full, good/great days in a row. So I decided tonight to blog because yet again, I had an amazing day. You know it's true what they say about keep going, get out, be around people, and keep functioning as best as you can. Today I was finally able to go to work and I was so happy and felt normal again. Of course the kids had lots of questions, especially my class from last year who knows I am never out of school. I was able to see Cadence twice today and he ran up and hugged and kissed me both times! I will miss it when he gets older and it's no longer cool to kiss your mom in front of your friends! So today was good, normal, and I think I even went for two whole hours without thinking about the newest chapter of my life. I think the next chapter, sometime next year, is going to be SuperFabulous is a Survivor!
I mentioned my friend, I will never be able to say enough how thankful I am for my friends. My friends and even complete strangers have reached out to me in a big way. I have been completely overwhelmed at the love and support I have gotten from them. The prayers, texts to check in with me and lift my spirits, cards, and even bags full of gifts to help me through my treatment. I have always thought that I surrounded myself with the best people through all phases of my life and I am in awe of the turnout of those very people, even back to people who I haven't spoken with since grade school. I hope you all will take this as the biggest thank you I can give and know that you all have impacted my heart, soul, body, and mind in the biggest way. So thank you for boosting me and carrying me through the most difficult time of my life. Thank you for being there on my best days and to lift me on my worst. Thank you for helping me focus on what is in front of me and not the path that I am going to travel. Thank you for helping me smile. Thank you for never letting me feel alone even when I think that's what I won't. Thank you for being the most amazing and unwavering humans there ever were. Thank you for making my story that much more special.
Today was great, the past few days have been good if not better than that, and right now I am smiling. I have so much to be thankful for and am still so very thankful for the amazing life I have. Today, was great and I am determined to have more of these!
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